Caveman Ugh-lympics takes the button-mashing track-and-field format and replaces standard athletic events with partner-tossing, stick-rubbing, and T-Rex vaulting.

The prehistoric track-and-field setup in Caveman Ugh-lympics

Before you hit the stone tracks in Caveman Ugh-lympics, you pick from six playable stone-age athletes: Vincent, Thag, Tanga, Bartha, and Sshlep among them. Each character brings distinct physical traits and skill profiles to the table. The MS-DOS version, brought over by developer Dynamix, Inc. and Electronic Arts, Inc. in 1989, features side-view 2D scrolling and EGA graphics to present its cartoon world. The manual even came formatted as an in-universe stone-age newspaper called the Ugh Zaminer, establishing the game's tongue-in-cheek tone right out of the box.

Caveman Ugh-lympics gameplay screen — The multi-event menu lets up to four players battle for top placement on the stone podium.

The core game consists of six distinct minigames designed to put your coordination and keyboard-slapping speed through their paces:

Saber Race: Sprint to outrun a hungry saber-toothed tiger while avoiding cacti and tripping up your opponent.
Matetoss: Grab your partner by the ankles, spin them around in a wide arc, and hurl them like a hammer throw.
Firemaking: Rub two wooden sticks together with rapid inputs to build friction and ignite a flame before your rival.
Clubbing: Stand atop stone pillars and duel your opponent with wooden clubs, utilizing trick moves like pointing behind them to sneak in a blow to the head.
Dino Race: Ride across rough terrain on the back of a dinosaur while navigating obstacles along the track.
Dino Vault: Sprint with a vaulting pole to clear the gaping jaws of a Tyrannosaurus rex.

How hardware and controls hamper the single-player run

Where this MS-DOS game stumbles hardest is in its control scheme. The sheer amount of wrist-straining button mashing and awkward key combinations required for events like Firemaking or the Dino Vault can tire you out quickly. When playing solo, the single-player campaign runs short, getting repetitive after just a few passes. Compounding this issue is the native lack of high score or progress saving, meaning every tournament run starts from scratch without a persistent leaderboard.

Saber Race event in Caveman Ugh-lympics — Sprinting ahead of the sabertooth tiger requires frantic button inputs and quick obstacle dodging.

Audio in the DOS conversion relies on basic PC Speaker output and early sound drivers managed through SOS.EXE. Period reviews were split on the visual execution; publications like The Games Machine handed out an 83% while noting the graphics had relatively few animation frames, whereas Tilt gave it a modest 10/20. Yet Computer Gaming World celebrated its multi-player mode as a genuine treat, highlighting how much better the game functions when you have human opponents sitting next to you.

Why competitive chaos makes multi-player work

The game shines best when you gather up to four players around the key board. Dirty tactics are actively built into the design: during the Saber Race, you can physically disrupt your rival to leave them behind as cat food, while the Clubbing event encourages outright deception. Watching your friends fail a pole vault straight into the mouth of a T-Rex brings a chaotic energy that single-player mode simply cannot replicate.

Dino Vault event in Caveman Ugh-lympics — Timing your vault over the Tyrannosaurus rex is crucial if you want to avoid becoming lunch.

The post-event details add extra personality to the competition. Winning cavemen celebrate by jumping onto a boulder podium where an impromptu fistfight usually breaks out, while female characters perform victory dances. It is this playful attitude toward the whole competitive sports game structure that keeps the package memorable despite its mechanical flaws.

Play Caveman Ugh-lympics free in your browser

If you want to experience this piece of prehistoric competition today, you can play Caveman Ugh-lympics online, right here in your browser with nothing to install and no setup required. Loading up a quick match is worth it just to try your hand at the stick-rubbing panic of the Firemaking event or to pull off a sneaky distraction strike during Clubbing. Grab a keyboard, pick your favorite caveman, and see how long you can survive the saber-toothed sprint without hurting your wrists.

How Caveman Ugh-lympics is played — the keys the game listens to, grouped by what they do.

Movement
Action
Interface

Highlighted keys are mapped — hover or tap one to see what it does.

Controls map to simulated keyboard joysticks for Player 1 and Player 2.

Players' controls

Touch and gamepad controls

The on-screen keyboard and gamepad mapping the browser player uses on a phone, a tablet or a controller, as opposed to the real keys above. $PRO members make their own in the player and share them here; anyone can pick one to play with.

Make your own touch controlsPRO

1Open the editorSign in below, then pick what to make. The game starts with the editor open over it.
2Place your keysAdd keys and drag them where your thumbs rest, or map a controller's buttons. Test plays the game with them; Save keeps them, and you play with them from then on.
3Share themShare them right after saving in the game, or name and share them here. Players vote, and the best become this game's controls for everyone.

Go PRO See how it works Sign in+20 XP for sharing · +50 XP if yours become the game's own

Choose what you play with. Use picks it, and the game starts with it next time.